Weekends

One topic of conversation the other night with our friends Bee and Eye, was whether the retirees needed more attention from their partners because they had been home all day or all week. So, for example, on the weekend, were Bee or I just raring to go out and party, while KW and Eye - exhausted from a work week - just wanted to watch football (Eye) or golf (KW)? Well, yes and no.

Some days it does seem as if you have not actually spoken to anyone all day, and when that guy gets home all sorts of info starts pouring out of your mouth. This is particularly difficult if you are having some sort of problem or issue that you have been mulling over. Like the election coverage of some hot topic. Or in my case getting ready for the cruise (see Cruising Blue for updates on that trip). This might not really be all that interesting to the person who has spent all day at work.

On the other hand, Bee and I have made it a point to do some sort of excursion each week, like go to the museums. Last week we went out for a nice birthday lunch at the spa. The week before we had a "work-friend" dinner, which is always fun for me because they are restaurants that I have never been to before. These outings somewhat satisfy my need to go places.

KW likes to be more of a home-body than I am, but now on weekends I tend to spend my time like I did when working - reading, shopping, talking on the phone. But mostly reading. I don't really let myself spend an entire day during the week just reading (which I did last weekend!)!

If I feel like I need to talk to someone during the week I can always pick up the phone and chat for hours without feeling stressed. Or I can head in to work for lunch and talking to several different people, or even just go shopping and people watching around town. The online version of communication is also always there, although the feedback is not as immediate.

On the other hand, the not-yet-retired partners do need to realize that there might be MORE time to visit during the weekend, to go places, etc. This might be because the retired person has taken care of some errands during the week, or just because. Something to think about.

All dressed up and no place to go

We were discussing people's reactions to being retired during my retirement class, and one of the sentiments was that the retiree was:

All dressed up and no place to go

What is that all about? I had not really had this feeling -- mostly because I don't get dressed first thing in the morning. I tend to be in my nightgown and robe until afternoon. Then I either have to jump into clothes because someone is at the door, or because KW is coming home and I will be embarrassed. Or because it violates the three- day-rule**. Even when I get dressed, however, if I am not leaving the house I wear my slippers.

Yesterday I got up and tried on some clothes that I am taking on the cruise (see Cruising Blue), and the new shoes that I bought. I thought I would wear the shoes around all day to make sure they were broken in. Since they are just like my old shoes, just a different color, I am not too worried about breaking them in, but you never know.




So there I was at like 10 in the morning, completely dressed with SHOES on. And I got it - All dressed up and no where to go.

I wandered around in the house, in the yard, and finally decided I had to go to the grocery store (one of my least favorite places). It was on my list of things to do, but it seemed sort of anticlimatic. And possibly the subject of a separate blog post - weekday shopping at the grocery store. Another new adventure.

**Oh yes, the three-day rule. Well, when we (Bee and I) retired we made a pact that we would not go more than three days without a shower!! Or something like that. Sounds gross, I know, but we had both discovered that frequent, hot showers is not really all that good for old, dry skin, especially if you tend to have eczema or other skin conditions. The doctors even said so! You don't really have to shower every day. But three days without is sort of pushing it.

The cats are happy I am home

The two cats seem to think that my being home all day should translate into a constant food marathon, or at the very least intermittent food and a constant petting marathon. Except for when they are asleep.

One day I decided to take a picture for the blog of each time the orange cat, Jean, came to tell me it was time to eat. I decided that twelve pictures of the cat interrupting my important blog time, eating at 11:00 a.m., 12 noon, 12:15, etc. was not as cute in the execution as it was in theory. However, in the interest of full disclosure, here are some pictures of Jean.

Whatcha doin' Mom, huh? huh?

And here...


Clearly I had been broken by his persistence. And lest you think that Jean is the "bad" kitty (with that face? nah), here is Toby...


And if you have made it this far, here is a picture of them being very cute and not just obnoxious.

I figure that they are my almost constant companions (asleep in the living room as I write this), so they are part of this retirement story. Also, it works for Crazy Aunty Purl, so why not for me, too?

The Art of Retirement - learning about retirement

Last week I completed a five-week class called "The Art of Retirement" offered through the adult ed program. The teacher, George Fulmore, has been writing a column in the local paper, with the same title, for several years. This was his last class because he is planning on retiring from the retirement business now that his wife is also retiring. They are going to try out some other lifestyle choices - traveling, maybe even moving.

I missed out on retirement classes offered at work. I think they were nine-weeks classes offered twice a year, but I never was able to get signed up before they filled up. After I made the decision to retire there were no classes available from work. I looked through some retirement books, and even bought a new book from George called The Joy of Not Working, by Ernie J. Zelinski. I have thumbed through that also.

During our last class people told about their retirement plans. Many people were not yet retired and with the current wild fluctuations of the market were rethinking their plans. When they got to me I said with a big grin that I WAS retired. I also said that I had started a blog about retirement and maybe I would appropriate the name "The Art of Retirement." Several people were interested in coming to the blog, but of course I had forgotten to bring the URL. Bummer.

I even got a very nice certificate of completion, saying I had done the class. It was fun seeing people at all different stages toward the end of their careers or beginning of retirement. You could tell those manager types who could not stand disorder in the classroom. Lots of volunteers to pass out papers. Men saying - "what's the big deal?" - while their wives grimaced.

So when I mention my retirement class and the words of wisdom I gathered there, I am talking about the Art (not science) of Retirement.

Getting Culture

It seems that everyone is talking about the lists of things to do before they die. Like sky diving or see the Grand Canyon. I don't have such a list. I do own the book 1000 Places To See Before You Die by Patricia Schultz. It was a gift. (I find it annoying that I can't decide whether to actually check off in the book the places I have already been, or to keep it pristine.) Why are there a 1000? Why a list?

This topic has come up in my Art of Retirement class - things to do to keep from being bored when retired: Make a list of things to do! When I mentioned that I had been going to lots of museums since retirement. Someone asked if that had been on my list of things to do after I retired. Was it?

Not necessarily, especially since I do not have such a list**. It was just something that I never really had the time or energy to do while working. So one of the first things I did when I knew I was retiring was buy a membership to the Fine Arts Museums of SF and go to the exhibit of Annie Leibowitz photographs that I wanted to see. I love photographs. This exhibit was pretty interesting.

But getting to the museums in SF from my house is a long haul. I can take BART in to the city. In fact, my fellow retiree, Bee, and I took BART to the MOMA in SF a few weeks ago, and I had also taken BART to the Asian Art Museum in the Civic Center area of the city with a group of retirees from my work. But how to reach the DeYoung in Golden Gate Park? or the Legion of Honor way out by Golden Gate Bridge?

So I was happy to see that they have started a "Culture Bus". This stops at most of the museums in the city center and then goes out to the DeYoung and Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park. Bee and I made the trip to the DeYoung, and plan to go back to the Academy soon. We were happy to ride the bus with the tourists and other people who do not have to be at work on a Thursday. It is a strange feeling having the ability to go to a museum in the middle of the week!

But why did they have to name it the "Culture Bus?"

**P.S. Don't get me wrong, I have a list of things to do, but mostly they are things like: "go to the grocery store, buy toothpaste, call the cable company." Not exactly a lifelong plan.

Retirement euphoria

Boy, today is one of those days that just being at home and not having to worry about work or much of anything else is enough to make me feel GREAT! For those first few weeks right after my last day of work, I would wake up just about every morning feeling this way. Sort of a secret bubble of happiness. But eventually that gave way to just living my new life -- or worse -- a vague sense of uneasiness.

Shouldn't I be doing something? Something important? Saving the world? Babysitting, cleaning house, writing my novel???

But not today. I did decide to tackle a project which has been an ongoing task, and will continue to be an ongoing task as long as that mailman keeps showing up at the house. The pile of magazines, catalogs and other things that need to be read. This is not even the real "TBR" pile of professional magazines, but those magazines I find myself subscribed to. And catalogs that call me.

Cleaning out this pile requires one to look inside the magazines. Oh yes, I was keeping this because of this article. I never even opened this magazine, I must read this article right now. Hmmm, I could use that blouse.

So you see this could take forever. But you know what? It can take as long as it takes. I can read that article and toss the magazine.** I can flag the article and put it in the official Magazine Holder (for Consumer Reports and other magazines you must keep). I can cut it out and start a file folder (that I probably will not look at again). I can go online and check out the website recommended in the side bar of the article. I can fix a healthy lunch inspired by the food articles.

This has been a fun morning, let me tell you. I received a subscription to MORE magazine from my friend Bee last year. It expired this summer, I think. I have several issues I had not read at all or only partially read. This is a great magazine. I think they want me to renew. Maybe I should.

Then, somehow I started receiving Travel+Leisure. What could be bad in that magazine (thankfully, not too many of those to go through)? And I get San Francisco magazine because I was such a big spender for the PBS drives last year. Ha! Back when I had money to spare. These magazines are full of great info about the San Francisco Bay Area, how can I part with them?

Lots of stuff to keep me busy and happy this morning. And then the mailman delivered another magazine! Yes!

**P.S. Lest you think that I could actually throw out magazines, let me tell you that I am recycling most of them. Others I am donating to Bee. Unfortunately that deal came with the agreement to accept her old Sunset magazines. I am thinking that it will be easier to get rid of second-hand magazines, but I am not sure. Also, last week I already worked on the catalogs. The pile is now about 1/3 as high as it was when I started!

Mornings

I have always liked to lie (lay?) in bed after I wake up and think about things - the day to come, the weather, the book I am reading, redecorating the bedroom. I like to snuggle under the covers if it is chilly and even enjoy the comfy bed even if it is warm. The cats join me to partake of their morning nap on the bed, sometimes I talk on the phone, write in my journal or even pick up a book.

Now that I am retired I can do this on almost any day. For just about the first time in my life! When was the last time you did not have to get up and do something important? Maybe not having something important to do would drive you crazy? Maybe you are one of those people who like (???) to pop out of bed as soon as you wake up?

I actually remember having a discussion about this with Diane during rides on the school bus particularly during our junior high years. Diane and I had gone to the same school for most of our lives, but we were not really friends -- except on the school bus, and especially in the mornings. I had moved to a new neighborhood when I was ten years old and I think she and I were the first couple of kids to be picked up on that bus route. We always commiserated on the unfairness of having to get out of bed in the morning. We would discuss the wonders of electric blankets, the discomfort of cold rooms and floors, and the grouchiness/meanness of mothers making us arise from our beds. Our bus ride was easily an hour or so -- we had lots of time to analyze this problem, but we never did solve it. Little did we know that this was the beginning of a lifetime of getting up too early.

Wonder what ever happened to Diane? As I said, we were not really close and I think she may have stopped going to that school before we graduated in eighth grade. She had long blond hair that she had never cut that came down passed her butt. I should go Google her now that I have the time.

Sharing

Last week KW and I had dinner with my best friend from work, Bee who also retired at the same time, and her husband, Eye. We get along really well with them and enjoy socializing as couples, so it is good for KW and Eye to be able to commiserate on being the working husbands for the retired ladies. Eye is not too far from "regular" retirement age, but KW has many years to go before he will get Social Security.

So what were the guys' expectations about our retirement? We did have a discussion, all four of us, that things were not going to be too different in terms of Bee or I cooking dinner (which we gave up years ago), or suddenly becoming domestic goddesses. Just not going to happen. Nor were we planning on meeting them at the door in cellophane ready for a hot time in bed. Well, probably not going to happen.

And I think that the guys have been pretty good natured about this major change in our lives. No unreasonable expectations regarding the state of the household. I have been going to the cleaners to pick up the laundry (which used to be impossible for us when we both worked), WHEN I remember to do it. I can be talked into going to the grocery (or at least Trader Joe's). I haven't actually cooked a dinner, but I have been more helpful and made a salad.

I can't help but wonder if there isn't some resentment because I am not going to work every day and he is. Sort of a question in KW's mind about what I am doing all day while he slaves away at the office. I have noticed that he tends to ask questions like - "What have you been doing all day?" But not too often. And not in a hostile manner.

But because I am sort of in the still-drifting stage of this retirement, I am not always able to say just what I did all day. I checked my email, read some blogs, two loads of laundry, went through a pile of mail, fed the cats about 20 times (don't they wish), and talked on the phone for several hours.

Eh, not much.

Rethinking your decisions

This week there has been horrendous news about the financial state of our country, the stock market practically crashed, financial institutions going under, the country taking on even more debt. It has not been a good week if you are worried about your money. I try not to think about what this has done to my 403(b) account which is probably at least 50% in stocks. I do not need to withdraw money from that account yet, and probably should not do so until I am 59. So I really do stick my head in the sand and ignore the news.

Then my sister asks if the savings account where we stuck the small sum from selling my mom's house is FDIC insured. No it is not. In fact, the company is a real estate loan type company. Maybe not the best place to keep our tiny nest egg. What is the answer to that question?

And, of course, I have wondered if I might need to go back to work, just to have that cushion that might have disappeared with the recent financial woes. One decision I made when I retired is that I could give up the feeling of having enough money to do pretty much what I wanted in exchange for being able to actually do what I wanted. Even though that meant some activities might be beyond my reach -- forever. Like chartering a plane, or buying a fancy new house.

I do not regret retiring when I did. Although if I had known that things were going to be so grim, would I have made the same decision? Probably. But every once in awhile I get a flash of panic in my stomach (where most of my uncomfortable emotions occur), that I was crazy to retire at age 56. That I should have stuck around for that extra bit in my pension, in my 403(b), in my savings account. Was I just being spoiled to retire young?

First post

I have been blogging about travel for a few months now, but I really want to talk about retirement and how my life is going since I no longer work full time.

In June I retired with an incentive from my employer in the form of six months salary. I have a pension from my employer and I had always wanted to retire early -- to travel, write, and explore other options in my life. I had been working there for 19 years! This opportunity was too good to pass up, especially since I crunched the numbers and figured that I could make it on what I already had.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I did not have a plan in place for what I would "do" after that last day of work. So this blog will be about life without a plan and things that I am trying out now that I have the time.